hello baby

if i am right, this is the longest time we havent meet up with each other when both of us are in sgp.i do miss you, a lot.but i guess it seems happier and less restrictive for us. i really wanted to see you last night.but i wasnt gonna take the risk of making you feel i am gonna break my promise so soon.and i certainly don wanna u t think i am being a pest.and i hope you will eventually realise the changes i have made for you, and be happy about them.
i wanna be in your arms so much

if alcohol and sleeping pills become a staple diet.and cigarettes smoke turns oxygen. but that's too tempting.

if we could turn back time and amend the mistakes we committed.but that's too naive.

if we could stand aside and see ourselves doing whatever we did.but that's too hilarious.

if we could control what we think and how we feel.but that's too mechanical.

if we could let beauty and banknotes determine where we go.but that's too easy.

if i could stay like you asked.but you chased me away.

if we could escape to serenity and be our own favourite people.but that's too perfect.

i want to travel the world with a week's supply of underwear, dozens stacks of cash notes, ten sticks of lip balm and a loving friend.
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read and love or hate me more

thank god.we made it through.and he reassured me that he will never wanna leave me and wants me to remember that he loves me.

and i hope this will last for good.i love you baby, with all my heart and soul.

i really dont wanna lose you, baby.
i know it's been me, doing all the shit that has eventaully made you so fed up with me and this relationship.
i promise i am gonna change, and it is gonna be for myself.
in fact, i have been doing my best to do better.yet i dunno why you still blame me for all these.on the other hand, i guesss i have to shoulder most of the responsibility.
i wanna thank you for everything you have done for me.i might never have shown my appreciation the way you wish i did.but i am really grateful for all the things you have done and sacrificed for me.even the small things like you smiling at and hugging me.
it is been so many ups and downs we shared ever since we got to together.and every single thing has only made us grow stronger and my love for you only became more.
i miss all the hugs and kisses we share lovingly, the times we do silly things and have a good laugh together, the places we visited and made beautiful memories at, and so much more that just sparkles the wonderful things we have.
please don't hate me.let's talk things out and get through this together, shall we?

with unbeaten love
zhihua

i dunno how to tell you this.

i really feel that i am not that important to you anymore.at least compared to when we just got together.i used to feel really loved, waking up with a smile every morning and feeling all warm and cosy when i fall asleep at night.but now, i cry myself to slepp every night and wake up only to feel i am all devoided of hope.

i wanna tell you so much about how i feel. but i am afraid that you might get angry and all stressed out again although it is never my intention to make you feel that way.then eventually i would have to apologise to you, just so that we can start talking properly again. even when i am not at fault, i have to do all these.i have my pride too.and you said before, if my pride is so important, then why be together?that even hurts me deeper.and many times, i do feel that i have forgo my pride for you, even my friends have noticed it. of course i remember you doing so for me, but at least i never said such hurtful things to you.i know you hate me for embarassing you in front of your friends.and i can tell you i never done that on purpose and i am truly sorry when those times happen.and i know you can be very egoistic, so most of the times i'll just forget who i am and apologise first. but there is really a limit to how much i can take.i love you, and i can do anything for you.but it seems to me that it doesnt even matter to you.that makes me feel very unappreciated and makes me wonder if i am doing the right thing.i thought that when i am in love with you, i wont have to shed another sad tear.however times like this occur so often that i really wonder if i made the right choice and have i done the right thing.

i never expect you to shower with me gifts and i have given up hoping that you can occasionally surprise me.i just hope that you can start being considerate to how i feel and put yourself in my own shoes.i am a girl, and like any other girl, i wish my boyfriend will love me, and show that i am important to him.i hope that is not too much to ask for.

i know you have your own friends to be with and yearn for your own private time.and think i have improved a lot on being able to let you go at times. but it still seems insufficient for you.i wanna keep improving for you but i dunno if you will every appreciate the things i have done and the changes i have made for you.

you might not realise the way you talk to me really hurt me very badly. sometimes i really feel like shouting at you, or to just walk away from you.but i cant bear to cos i still love you.sometimes, i dont even know what i have done wrong to deserve that kinda treatment from you. you told me to leave you alone when you are not feeling ok, be it when you are angry or sick.i did. and the thing i got back was not your appreciation whatsoever. it was you feeling angry with me again for showing you attitude.i did what i was told, and i still had to getit from you.

and now i am crying so sadly, yet i dunno how to tell you.i really wanna lean on your shoulders, and you comfort me, telling me everything will be okie.and i am quite sure you would be upset too and thus making things worse.is it really me?can i call you now and have you talk to me nicely?

i know i havent been the best girlfriend around, and that you have many issues with how i behave.but if you havent notice, i am really trying hard to accomodate to you.i am not trying to sound that i am unhappy doing so, just that if you can show me a little more appreciation and concern,i will feel really happy.for sure i've remember the things you've done for me and the sacrifices you've made.

i really wish you are here with me now.maybe we can talk things out soon.i am never prepared to lose you, though admittedly, i have been having such thoughts recently.but i never never wanna do it.i love you baby.

hello baby

another not so happy week has passed.all the quarrels and fightings are really wearing us down.sometimes, we would be too tired to even explain ourselves.which, to me, is quit eupsetting.it makes me think how much we still care about each other.but of course, it never mean that way cos i am sure we still see each other as the world.
i hate it when you say you wanna end this relationship.i never expect someone supposedly to be so in love with me to say that.it cuts me through like a rusty blade.even though you clarified, saying that you said those mean things out of sheer anger and if i really did agreed to leaving you, you will come back to me, i just wished you never said it at all.it somehow remains as a scar i think i will need a very long time to heal.i don wanna our relationship to be flawed with such harsh comments.i really love you, like i never loved anyone before.in a way that, i know i havent been doing a good job as your girlfriend.i have been making you angry and all stressed out.i am really learning to b secured and independent.i wanna make you the happiest guy and i wanna be the reason for that=)

baby.i love you.with all my heart and i wanna live my life with you.through thick and thin.