hello

the time between my blogs are getting v far apart!=D

teh feeling is back again.

the feeling of happiness and cared for when he sms me.it might even be the most insignificant sms but how dearly i hold on t it.it might even be the exchange of heated words.but how i treasure them.when they are words of concern and (imagined) love, how i wish they could last forever.

i feel stupid for mindin him not replying my sms so much.but of cos i really mind when ppl dun reply to my sms.it is like talking to a piece of wall -_-
anw.i shud had been grateful we are talking more often now, instead of wasting our precious little time spent feeling grumpy abt it.moreover, it was cos he was busy with work.and being busy shud b good!i wanted to send him tt email.thank god and my friends(jl,qj,alex,pei) i didnt, or else i think i wld have spoil it all again.


This email may seem very random but I still think that I ought to write you this. At least, it can relief a load off my mind.

Regarding the messages we exchanged on Monday, honestly I was really very irritated when I only received your reply when I asked. You could reply me anytime you are free since the night you received the first sms. When you don’t, it just shows how unimportant it is. But of course, we are not obligated to each other anymore so that’s probably why you seem so indifferent.

And I don’t want to appear unreasonable, as if I am demanding a reply from you despite knowing that you were busy at work. But I really think that it can’t possibly take up too much time from your busy schedule to just reply a sms and tell me that you are fine and just that you are busy with your stuff so you can’t be replying me.

Glad to know that you are getting better with your job, anyway. Hope it stays that way.

Love
Zhihua


P.S. I am certainly not picking up a fight whatsoever, as you might think so. You should know how much I appreciate the little time we share through the messages.>

i wanted to send a edited/ sms/ more friendly/ less in your face sms.i was still contemplating if i should n decided i wld do send it at night when he sent me a v random sms asking how was i.
=)
my heart skipped a beat. it was as though he was just beside me.
okie.tts quite exaggerated.but i felt a certain warmth surging from within.
yes. it is this kinda cheap thrill.i can only ask for this much and i try to be satisfied with this much too.

soon i will forget the little things we share now cos they are incomparable with what we had before.they are such glorious days and wonderful memories i can hardly remove from my mind.but at least, when it was happening, at that very moment, i could fantasize us being back to the long forgotten days of you still loving me as if it is a right thing to do.

i have to admit i don't to let you decide if i should feel happy or upset anymore.but even more i have to say, i can foresee it is not going to be a easy way out of you or the distorted relationship we share.
i want to get out of this but something is telling me maybe we can try this over again?=(
i know i am imagining that.

i am proud of the love you gave me.it might have been long past its expiry date but i can still feel its warmth, wonders, strength..i am running out of words to describe tt feeling.guess it is cos i ve lost touch with that miraculous feeling.

i miss you.and i pray i appear in your thoughts often enough for you to remember me.