我讨厌阴天的风
冷得那么刺痛
只有你能够抚平所有的寂寞
昨天的风筝在角落
被谁丢到了路口
我很不想让你找到离开的理由
每一夜闭上眼睛
我看到了恶梦
你微笑但是旁边的人不是我
天空切开一道裂缝
直接割到我心中
不想装作脆弱
也不想爱得懦弱
其实我非常爱你不想失去你
难道我没有权利说我不愿意
你给了他的吻
虽然只有余温
可知道我多渴望抓住你的心
我知道他很爱你你怕他伤心
我每天假装开心害怕你离去
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你
可不可以任性
求求你不要去
藏在我心里最后一句
其实还爱你

i dunno why but i've been quite a moody mood since past few days.and it's prolly of sth really screwed called PMS.f.
and this makes me miss him even more.need him even more.sth he doesnt want to hear anymore.-_-
we were out together last night.i was really pissed at him for being late.it just give me the mindset that he's not keen in meeting.and that upsets me a lot.i didnt really want to tell him lest he says i'm just thinking too much.and seeing me so pissed pissed him off.just a very pissed outing.=\ but it's just like on an off thing.like for a while we'll be happily talking away.and one little (wrong) action from him and i can get really argh again.
but i'm still glad to see him.after all, i haven't seen him for a while ever since that day at my place wid jianliang.and he suggested doing the drinking-at-my-place thing again =)
i like that idea.=D

and how nice of the wallpaper he has on his phone.=\
it still hurts to see them together, somehow.
but maybe he's really happy this way.then I'll (try to) be happy for him too.who knows.

i suggested meeting up more often. he said he can't really do that cos he got his own stuff to do too.well, it's only when he turns me down like that that I'm painfully reminded that he's not mine anymore and i can't expect what i expected.well, well. this is a trying period.like a cold turkey phase.

and sometimes i feel so alone with everyone around seemingly so happy and satisfied about what they are having.i know i'm already a lot more fortunate than most but i just feel something's missing and things could have been a lot more better than it is now.

and we met jovan and another friend also.omg.i've seen that other friend about 2,3 at least and i still dunno his name except for Chew.=D
anw.whenever i see jovan, i get very reminded of the good ol' times. not only sth between him n tan.but also how i happy i was before/ when we were tog.actually that's only like 2,3 months ago.but it seems so far now.hmm.

why do all good things come to an end.
flames to dust.
lovers to friends.