nice right?hehe.
can do wid a deeper cleavage though.

was at Villa'ge @ Heeren with hl alex qj n caron.yl cldnt make it 'cos of skl work.must be really urgent for some1 like yl to skip a outing 'cos of assignments=D
we miss him =\
and it was sorta awkward 'cos i really din quite know what to chat with Caron.jus weird la.so that place reminds me of hanbin.like again.i even sub-consciously, which means the other half is super conscious, went to get the drink he ordered that time we were there.the root beer.and you know i never quite like to drink fizzy stuff.hahaha.i am so owned.
and how i miss him =\
i find myself doing things/ consuming things tt remind me of him.like the prata i order.the drinks i order.the pair of slippers i was looking at at Haviannas.many many la.often without me taking note until i almost fall into the drain 'cos i was too engrossed.=DD

i miss you baby.
and shit.i secretly enjoy indulging myself thinking about him and doing nothing else.and i will only realise that when something (irritatingly) snaps me out of the fantasy.i find myself being able to sit there (unlike before.when i have to do that, i do it restlessly.) and just spend time running the memories we share together in my mind in loop.then everything else will just blank-out.such indulgence.such hallucination.

and zouk on friday was f dirty fun man!
we met there.and i miss clubbing with him.and his friends.whole lot of fun!=D
and i miss gettin the semi-drunk-but-mostly-high feeling.darn shiok.dancing and boozing are my fave past times.
but when we were at zouk.i tink we ALL had a drink too much.we were like dancing with dunno who.aiyo.i cnt even rmb.but intimately, of cos it was with hanbin la.-__- but apparently i wasnt the only one he got hot with.in front of me.IN FRONT OF ME.he was dancing with another girl.holding on to another (drunk) girl.they were all his fren's frens actually.but hello!in front of me leh!we both know how much face we need in front of our frens.okie la.we are not together anymore.but tts really in my face la.i dunno what got into me(i think it sth called alcohol) and i just shouted when he was looking at me. "YOU F KISSED HER IN FRONT OF ME!?"
(okie.the following did happened but i can't rmb exactly where and when)
he told he didn't she wasn't standing stable-ly so he just helped her.(but cb.they were darn close lo.and it's not like just help her stand properly leh)anw ya.he said he didnt do anything and wasn't to spite me or anything along that line.i just melted when he told me that and i realised how little he had to explained himself to make me trust him.i mean.it was just f in front of me and who cld take it in their stride?

at that point, i was really pissed.then zun ly-ly his fren came.i hugged his friend.HA.and i know he don't like that.at least when we were together.
sorry -_-

then he went prata house with guorong.who at that time seem to be losing control of what he's saying.then suddenly he asked.eh, why ya nt tog already ar?-_-
den hanbin looked at me.guorong looked at him.HI.
den i said.jus say la.i mean.he's your gd fren what.
den guorong said.aiya, happy together not happy then nvm la.
den i jus sat there and my vibrate my head.
den gurong said, huh.u can't let go ar?aiyo!jus go jump down la.
-_-
den hanbin went OEI.
-_-
HAI.
den hanbin n i went up to my place.
okie.then it all started again.
and i asked him the burning question.
"so have ya had sex after our break-up?"
(after thinking for quite a while, unknowingly due to the unsober-ness or guilt or whatsoever)
"ya..we were togther for so long.it just happened mutually"
HELLO!this kinda thing gt like that 1 meh!

(continued on the 16/5)

okie. i totally understand about the thing abt we all having sexual needs.but baby.u told me it will only happen between u n the one you love.so are you telling me you still love her, contradicting what you told me?and i believe i can satisfy you.whatever ways you want.and you know it.

it's been a month already.
"morning.erm.it's been a month already.and sadly, nothing much has changed.i still love you."

that's what i sms him in the morning.and i guess he'll find it -_- and think wth am i doing.but it's true isn't?

it's a month and i still don't see why we are not together.i still don't understand why we aren't together.i still can't comprehend about what you said about us.
i still need you like before.i still love you.i guess i can't get myself clearer already.

please let us come back to each other.

i am sick of crying whenever i miss you so much.