hi

we havent talk for a very long time yea.
d past few days saw a few happenings that has affected quite a bit.in short,

friday: we were on d fone. u were to come over to my place to drink but cos u didnt have enough cash, u didnt want to though i volunteered to pay 1st.anw, i dunno what suddenly spurred you to say this. "u got nothing to tell but you always thinking of when to meet up"
-_-. i was stoned.i didn't know what to say.i dunno what made you said that.

sat: i called you.and you cut my line.i wondered why.ten minutes later, i called again and the same thing happened.u sms me: can you stop calling me now
and i wondered why again.why the tone?why the hostility?why the distance?

tuesday: it was about 1.30 plus in the morning when you called.u called from the station so i didnt know it was you from the number showed on my phone.so i asked: hanbin arh?
u replied: ya.eh, did u just say my name?hahaha.so weird.
well.what else can i call you, my baby?no matter how much i want to, i can't.i just can't.
so we were yakking away.i couldnt really remember what.the you suddenly said: don't worry.we'll meet up soon k?
that was very incoherent with what we were saying before this.and it's not i don't want to go out wid u.u know how much i'll love that.just that, i wasnt expecting it at all, especially with what you told me on friday.

in fact, i dunno if i can still call you like before.u seem to be avoiding me in some sense, but the call on tues morning would be contradicting to that.i've lost the understanding i had towards you.it seems that i no longer know you for who you were to me.it seems that i'm no longer even a friend to you.it seems that i've already lost you for good.which i totally f hate this idea.

there's this fear/ worry in me whereby i'm afraid you'll find me a disturbance/ nuisance to you if i take the initiative to contact you.but i don't want to forget about me.i'm quite sure you will cos it seems to be the case now.and imagine when i'm in china already.gone case liao lo.-_-

and oh ya.about replying sms.i jus think that replying a sms is just like answering someone when she's talking to you.something called basic courtesy.-_-

i want you to love me like before.now.