hi =)

we went out tog ytd.yeah =D

i sms after work.he said ya coming down later to meet you.hahahaha.he actually wanted to come china town to eat.i mean.he wanted to come OVER and meet me?hahaha.he said he wanted to eat here but i choose to believe it is cos he is nice and still remember that he promised he will come over near my workplace to meet me.=)

but cos he overslept and i had already left the office with no where to go, he say meet at city hall or vivo.i chose vivo.so i slooooooooowly made my way there.i waited for about a hour.and when the thoughts of me going to meet him soon makes my heart skipped many beats.i dunno why.so when i was walking towards him, i had to remind myself not to stretch my hands out for him to hold.-_-

so we met.and it wasnt really awkward as i feared.we could talk normally!or even less pressurizing because maybe we think we are not so stressed about the problems we had cos we ain't together already.

we were avoiding a crowd then suddenly he placed his hand around my waist to lead me away.i tell you.all my hair stood.haha.it was very surprising yet comforting.den over dinner it was perfectly normal.as in it was like nothing happened.i fed him from my spoon.he pinched my nose and i gave the expression like we did.he massaged my sore eye (n oh ya.it is getting worse leh -_-).we shared our drinks.he paid the bill.after dinner we went to the toilet (or is it before?i cannot remember la)i spotted a rash on his neck and asked him why.my fingers were on his neck then he touched my fingers.i didn't let go even when he put his hand down so i sorta held his hand but he retracted.but when we came out of the toilet. it was normal again =)

it was very coooooooooooooold at vivo yesterday.god knows why.and both of us were like shivering away.as i was wearing long sleeves, he jokingly say i should take it off for him.and he knows i am not wearing anything inside.-_- then he said since like that, let him put his hands into my top-__-.then dunno how, his hand was in my sleeves already.i tell you.i couldn't even talk properly already.hahaha.

then jovan called and asked him to zouk.so we were leaving for home already.and i could almost feel myself being torn apart.i was like..so fast?=( i wanted to take a bus home so he said he also take bus and we went to the bus interchange.i dunno what got into me i became very quiet suddenly.he kept asking me why but all i could do was to force a smile.when we were at the escalator, i couldn't help it but hug him.( and oh ya ya.when we were at the escalator in vivo,he was telling me he going zouk later and as usual i very gian to go so he said friday together la, cos i told him i was thinking to club on friday but i thought he was working.then he said he prolly taking leave.so friday go with me=) i wasn't really listening already.we were standing so closely together unknowingly.and i kissed him.he didn't push me away.neither did he reciprocate.then we resumed to talking normally).hahaha -_-
how sudden.

back to the way home.then he kept asking me why i suddenly turned quiet.i couldn't take it anymore and i hugged him and said i missed him so much.i didn't and couldn't let go of him.i said.can we don't be like this?and he said.zhihua.don't make things so awkward.very awkward meh.hahaha.anyway, we sat at the interchange for a while and talked.that was the least expected place to talk about our break up la-_- then i asked him is he happier for the past few days.he said like normal lo.-______-.it is either it hasn't been affecting him much or just that he doesn't feel happier but maybe or not sadder.i told him i dunno how the break up don't seem to affect him much, but i was very difficult for me the past few days.he seemed apologetic.then i said, do you want me back?he said ya.but won't it be like he's pitying me?i never thought of that and i asked so are you pitying me now?he said no.then he say, if we are back together now, we would be in the same situation as before.which i thought of also.so i asked when the situation is settled, will we?he said to see what is he like then.-__- okie.at least he wasn't as absolute like he was on the phone that night.=) i asked if we can still go out.he said of course =)

i hugged him goodbye.and he kissed me on my cheek.i kissed him on his lips.=)

so off he went to zouk.and to work early morning the next day.poor thing =(
oh ya.when he told me he going zouk and work early the next day, he said like last time with you like that.taoyan =)

when he says he still wants me back, i was relieved and feel there's hope.i don't want to hold it high though.but at least it is there.i still love him.i love you my baby.=)